COVID-19 Chronicles 2020: The Lessons

In early 2020, COVID-19 came in and completely disrupted our lives. Some people lost loved ones, some people lost jobs, the kids lost experiences and special moments, so much about our daily lives changed. This is surreal.  This whole experience has made me consider a lot of things of which I had been taking for granted.

Before this virus crept into our lives, I had been praying for a slower pace of life. I was tired of the day-to-day grind. Every morning I woke up tired, we struggle to get our kids dressed and ourselves out the door. We rushed to school and work, then rushed some more after work to get to activities. No matter how hard I tried every night and every weekend to organize us in such a way that would set us up for a week of success, we were still struggling. Looking back, most of the days were a fog.

In the past, we had talked about solutions to our problem of being overloaded. We had discussed if it was important to have a two income household, but neither of us wanted to give up our jobs. I prayed everyday for just some time to rest, time to take it down a notch, be present and not miss my own life while living it. 

I’ll be honest in early February when reports started being made of this novel Coronavirus hitting US soil, I didn’t think it would impact me in anyway. SARS never impacted me personally. Ebola never impacted me personally.  I just thought this would be another global health issue that would be dealt with without having a major effect on my life. Boy, was I wrong!

COVID-19 is a horrible virus. For those who have lost loved ones, to say it is devastating is an understatement. This virus has changed the way people are born and the way they die. It has caused many of us to think harder about our interactions with those around us. There are no more hugs when you greet a friend, you can’t see people’s smiles behind their masks, people are keeping their distance from each other, everything about daily life has changed.  Video conferencing and virtual parties are the new thing. 

However, there is always beauty out of ashes.  In the midst of all the chaos, there have been some bright spots.  Honestly, the first three weeks of our state stay-at-home order were pretty rough. We were trying to adjust to working from home, teaching from home and managing a toddler. By week three, I had hit a low point. The depression I was trying to ward off so desperately had begun to settle in my spirit. I have never liked feeling trapped or restricted. I struggle with that and not being able to just leave my house and go out and do whatever I wanted was starting to get to me. 

Fortunately, my therapist had decided to conduct virtual sessions.  I was already on the books for later that week. I considered canceling my appointment and just wallowing in pity. but, I didn’t. She started the session with the question, "How are you doing in all of this?"  I choked  back tears and replied, "I’m not OK." I rarely admit that to people. I spend most of my time trying to help people, rather than burden them with any of my thoughts and feelings.  I offer them more grace than I ever extend to myself.  The standard to which I hold myself is absolutely unrealistic and in most cases unattainable. My therapist has figured this out. I continued with telling her I didn’t want to lie about how I was doing.  Her response to me was "You don’t have to." Throughout the entire session she continued to bless me with little nuggets that I could use as tools to cope in the weeks to come.  She also reminded me to focus on the positives that were going on currently.  Since that session, I have been doing just that, focusing on the good. By the time my next session arrived, I was in a good place.

I realize many other people are still struggling during this time. Even though some of the states have started to open up, we are finding out that our old normal is being replaced with our new normal.  Hopefully, if anyone reading this is struggling, you will see you are not alone and find a bright spot here. 

For our family, this lockdown has given us some great things. We have spent lots of quality time together as a family. We have watched movies, read books, played games inside and outside, completed artwork, played and sang music (including karaoke), cooked and worked on home projects.

We have taken some time to actually get to know the people in our household. There have been many talks. Sometimes we just sit around and ask each other questions. We have listened. The Little Mister has been big on telling jokes and hosting puppet shows. It’s been awesome to see his personality flourishing.

Mr. C and I have even found a way to carve out "in home date nights".  We get the kids together for a “movie night”, setting them up with snacks and a cozy blanket. While they are occupied, we get to binge-watch a grownup show or movie.

We have discovered the blessings in this uncertain time.  I am so grateful for all the extra time with my husband and children.  I have realized, many of the things I prayed for, are happening right now. For that, I am thanking God.